From French Unions to Ferrets

I've spent this morning browsing the Internet for information. This isn't as normal as one would believe. Usually my primary use of the internet is nothing as lofty as furthering my knowledge but increasing the amount of time I can actively do nothing at all. I think this is probably true for the majority of us.

This particular morning I had a real plan for the Internet. It was going to live up to its potential for a change and give me information. I had just had a lovely conversation with my girlfriend. Its nice to wake up to the sound of your lovers voice, particularly when she's 700 miles (1120Km) away. The end of the conversation was me remembering that I had no idea when the planned transport strike was actually going to take place. All I did know was that it was very important that I found out before I got stranded in the middle of Paris. There is no way I'm going to miss going to Edinburgh next Friday.

I looked in the most natural place for information, RATP.fr, but obviously there was no information there. My search then took me to a forum (god bless them all) which then directed me to the Reuters news site.

This site was a wealth of information and frankly I don't think I was prepared for the kind of mind blowing data I was about to uncover. first things first, the strikes are probably planned for the 13th of November and will probably last 2 days. So, nice and vague. Whilst I was skimming the article for info my eye was attracted to another headline. 9 Die in Finland School Shooting. Some kid went to the local school and opened fire on the kids in the name of natural selection. The thing that really caught my eye on this was the line

"YouTube video predicted Fatal School Shooting",

I was thinking that maybe one of his friends had made a video and thought this guy was going to do something crazy but this wasn't the case. The killer himself posted a video entitled

"Jokela High School Massacre - 11/7/2007,"

I would say that isn't so much a prediction as an outright statement, although it did take place earlier than he thought it would. As you can imagine, after an article like that, I needed a little light relief. This is where the Internet and news sites really shine.

"Hide Your Old Pills In Poop, Government Says".

Well how can you not click on a headline like that. I had images of people trying to to perform all sorts of strange routines and none of them were pretty. The article was talking about dangerous prescription drugs and how to dispose of them. The original suggestion was flushing them down the toilet but someone said that providing the local fish population with opiates and tranquillisers wasn't a good idea. It scared the fishermen to think that a super strength, doped up trout might attack them looking for its next fix. Naturally the suggestion moved to ferrets. Here is an extract from the article, it is the most bizarre leap of topics;

"Mixing prescription drugs with an undesirable substance, such as used coffee grounds or kitty litter, and putting them in impermeable, nondescript containers, such as empty cans or sealable bags, will further ensure the drugs are not diverted," it says.

Of course some people do not drink coffee. But maybe they have a pet ferret.

"Ferret waste, like nearly any other form of pet waste, can be effectively used to help prevent the abuse of unused prescription drugs," SAMHSA spokesman Mark Weber said.

This news delighted the American Ferret Association."

What the hell was that, if you don't drink coffee then you have a predilection to ferrets? What's next, the abstination from tea predetermines your love of Iguanas?

The artcle continues with;

"The U.S. government declares ferret poop to be an effective weapon against drug abuse,"

Well there you have it. Ferret shit is officially recognised as a weapon. A weapon of mass de-drug-tion one might say.
I am so terribly sorry for that last bit but if you're going write about something weird then it seems almost essential to end it on the ridiculous.

Ferret article - http://uk.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKN0756745220071107?pageNumber=1
French Transport Strikes - http://uk.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUKL3136118020071031?pageNumber=1
Finland Shooting - http://uk.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKPAR75179520071107?pageNumber=1

The wonderful forum Rick Steve's Erope - http://www.ricksteves.com/graffiti/helpline/index.cfm/rurl/topic/7640/planned-french-rail-strike--november-13-2007.html

P.S. Don't you just love people with two first names. They always sound like stunt men to me.